Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
