UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
