maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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