i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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