I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
