There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
