just come out here and I will go home with you...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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