return my video game
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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