So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
