Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
