everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
