I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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