This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
