so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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