just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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