idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
