scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
