this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize