cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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