You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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