Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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