I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
