i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
