Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
