We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
