My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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