just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
