you have to choose: penises or morals?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
