Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize