A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
