we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
