girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
