Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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