they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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