when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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