What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm at about main and main street
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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