Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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