Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
