I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
