fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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