Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My pussy is not your playground.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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