I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
