Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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