are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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