Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This toilet bowl is my home.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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