At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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