people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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