Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
