If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
