sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
