Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
