Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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