kristin has been a bad kristin
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize