This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
