Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
