just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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