She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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