ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
