wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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