dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
