no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
