Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
