3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
