She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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