Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
