Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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