New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
