I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
